It's a new year (9 days late...) and of course Happy New Year Everyone!
I started this new year in a new class and new subjects which includes,
1.English (duh)
2.Chinese (duhduh)
3.Elementary Mathematics (which is not at all elementary as it sounds...)
4.Additional Mathmatics (which we haven't started on yet...)
5.Pure Chemistry (a must)
6.Pure Biology (oooh...i love this subject)
7. Pure Geography (my fav!!!)
8. Elective History (no comment)
9.Social studies (no comment either...)
10.MSP aka Malay Special Programme
Today after school, we had MSP and our new teacher, Cikgu Salina, proposed to set up a blog on our class (seventeen of us) in malay and in which we were able to interact and converse in malay to help us improve in this subject. After all we would be taking O'levels for it. So the blog was set up and the address is : http://www.mspatnchs.blogspot.com/ . It is formed like this, 'msp' is (duh!) this language i am learning now, 'at' is...ok it's obvious. Lastly 'nchs' is the acronym of my school. In that, each of us posted one post each and there is a group photo of the eighteen of us including of the teacher. Today was just our second lesson and i already find it quite enjoyable.
To dampen my spirits, i remembered yesterday's unhappiness which comes from-you guessed it-Chinese Orchestra aka CO. The conductor came in and yadda yadda yadda about this and that-which you might get it if you read my previous posts-and she really went so far as to actually group us according to our capabilities. There were six groups-Chinese flute, Erhu, Strings, Cello and Double bass, percussion and lastly my group, Sheng and Suona (in which currently has no suona players in it).
Do you whats our rank?............last, "GREAT". I get it: we are so bad that even the percussion are better than us. Self esteem sucks. This brought up a problem that i thought resolved after the SYF last year, -(we were training so hard and as each part of the song is important, so are the players. Before the SYF, i had a self esteem problem with CO. I constantly (and maybe my pathner in same instrument (PSI) did too) felt that the orchestra 'left us out' and i always had trouble properly playing my allocated parts until the SYF, when we were 'last minute' given the parts of the suona and managed to master it in time for the compeitition.
This 'heavy burden' made us feel proud and at last, important and felt in the orchestra family.)- However this was not to last till yesterday when this unhappy thingy happened. The conducter 'curtly' tell us that because our 2 juniors,(who were playing the zhongyin sheng),were not good and that the 2 of us gaoyin sheng were not very good, that's why we were placed last. Crap i tell you they are. The 2 juniors who did not do well is not entirely their fault. Ever since they joined the orchestra last year, they were always neglected by the sectional teachers as they were busy teaching the new suona students.
Results?
1.New suona students did not perform at SYF simply because they 'could not take the pressure' and all efforts came to naught.
2. 2 junior's enthusiasm was depleted, they simply had no interest in learning the instrument anymore.
3. We got placed last.(in the orchestra family)
Easy as that. You might ask why i care sooo much, last, so what, no big deal, if you know yourself to be good then good it is. But no, it's not that simple. If psycological stuff (emotions and feelings of people), are so easy to understand and cure, why would we need to study it?
Ok fine, the four of us knew somewhere we were ranked among the bottom somewhere in our hearts but does the conductor need to make it so obvious? It's not as if we thought that we were very good and all...but hey, we have feelings for goddness' sake you noe! We can't possibly take and swallow such a blow. Now I'm intimidated by the better orchestra players again...
someone help me
kah mun
No comments:
Post a Comment